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My Birthday - a story of addiction posted 09.04.08 23:47  Like most addicts, I sit in a one-bedroom apartment, with the lights dimmed, with my "fix" spread out before me like a buffet. My cat stays away, because I growl at her when she gets too close to the box of Krispy Kremes. Doughnut #1 - Chocolate covered. It goes down faster than a 15 year old Taiwanese girl named Pepsi. The guilt of my act is quickly replaced by the sweet sugar rush that I haven't had in a year. That's right... a YEAR. Doughnut #2 - Custard-filled. Chocolate covered. Now my undies are custard-filled. (Ha! I'm just kidding. I'm not wearing any.) Doughnut #3-5 - Glazed. I think the high and sudden influx of sugar is starting to get to me. There's a twitch in one of my eyes and my hand won't stop shaking. That will work in my favor later tonight. Doughnut #6 - I am the very model of a modern major general. I've information vegetable, animal and mineral. Doughnut #7-8 - Oh God. My stomach feels like an over-inflated basketball. But there are 4 donuts left. And today, I am a man. Or something. Doughnut #9 - My left nipple started leaking high-fructose corn syrup. The cat is licking it up, though, so it's all good. Doughnut #10-11 - I've been hard for over an hour. My tongue is coated with hard, white, crusty... sugar. I need more milk. And prayer. Doughnut #12 - I lay in the dark. My last, glazed doughnut beside me. I pet it. Talk dirty to it. Finger its hole. Lick the sugar off of it and feel dirty and hot at the same time... the way you would after licking the spilled booze off a stripper's tit. (Kracker knows that feeling.) If you'll pardon me, I need to be alone with my precious. But it's ok. It's my birthday. Comments (3) www.mexikid.com |
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